Extractions

A blog meant to represent, as most blogs do, extracts or excepts from day-to-day life.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

My advice on handling a situation we all face from time to time


What do you do when you're seeing a Texas country band at Dan's Silverleaf in Denton and you order two Coors on draft, which you are not particularly excited about, but which is on special for $2, and then you realize that the bartender is serving you two bottles of Coors Lite instead AND that your friend is down the bar getting his own beer, which appears to be the beer he actually ordered?

Do you push the beers back? No. You take them and carry them proudly, one in each fist, as if you had intended to take two at once for yourself. You're at a country show, afterall. Nevermind the fact that you're not wearing a pearlsnap shirt or boots or a cowboy hat: you're drinking two beers at once.

Then you must chug one fast enough that the other one is still ice-cold when you're ready for it. This chugging should take no longer than one good fiddle solo. Then you pitch the empty bottle into the trash bin full of empty bottles with such force as to make that familiar bottle-on-bottle clashing sound that assures everyone around you that they really are seeing a low-down, fallin'-off-the-wagon Texas country band. Then, with a bit of smugness for sure, you can try to enjoy the other beer you never intended to order in the first place. I'd recommend taking the second one a bit more slowly--not that I can speak from experience or anything.

2 Comments:

At 8:38 PM, Blogger Librarian in Training said...

Mr. Francis, I'm tickled with your blog. I'm ashamed it has taken me this long to read it; I actually just noticed it on my shortcuts toolbar and thought, "What's that?"

What tickles me so thoroughly is that in your blog, so sound so innocuously pretentious. Why don't you come off so in real life? Maybe I just don't know you well enough...or maybe I'm a priggish elitist in denial...hmmmmm...

I thought your salt hors d'ouevres platter was genius...perhaps this is evidence of my pretentiousness... perhaps I should think of a way to include one more ellipses in my comment...

 
At 5:59 AM, Blogger seanfrancis said...

Thanks for the flattery--and the vocabulary lesson. Priggish? Well, you got me there. But then again, when all's said and done, you'll have almost as many master's degrees as I have undergrads (um, degrees, that is).

You'll be the next big celebrity in the blogosphere. As much as we all love The Sartorialist, for example, he never sent anyone screaming for a dictionary.

 

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